Yes, this book inspired our daughter's name

I’ve been wallowing a bit in writer angst this week. Another “no thank you” on a recent book proposal launched me into the depths of who-do-I-think-I-am-and-what-am-I-trying-to-do land again. Since I’ve promised my husband I won’t threaten to actually quit writing anymore, I didn’t have that out.

I did, however, give myself permission to reconsider what I write and where I send it. The question of the day was this: Am I supposed to be a novelist or not? I could just continue writing articles and essays. That is a satisfying pursuit and one that fulfills my goal to publish His praise and tell everyone about the good deeds He has done.

In the midst of all my conversations with anyone who would listen, a voice of wisdom rose above the din in my own head. My good friend Darin said, “So, why did you want to start writing novels in the first place? If you figure that out, you’ll probably figure out whether to continue or not.”

Such a good question. Such a wise friend.

I started writing novels because Daisy Newman changed my life. Her novels about a Quaker community stirred a desire in me to live in grace, mercy, goodness, and hope. I didn’t become a Quaker, but I did institute a practice of “centering down” every morning like the characters in the book. I’ve been doing that for twenty years now, and it makes all the difference in my world.

So, despite my desire to shove the latest manuscript in a drawer and pretend it never existed, I think I’ll just let it rest a few days. Then, I’ll take it out, fill myself up with a good dose of the Holy Ghost for anesthesia, and start the brutal surgery necessary to turn a mediocre manuscript into a life-changing story.

I hope.