I recently attended a Dream Year event with author Ben Arment, co-hosted by the lovely Felicity White. (To whom I happen to be quite fortunately related.) Since coming home, I’ve been reading Ben’s book discreetly. (You don’t really want your boss to see you reading a book about leaving the job you hate. Especially if you are married to you boss.)

And, here is the first thing I’ve learned:

I don’t actually hate my job, and I’m already living my dream.

Not in its fullness, of course. There is still a building to go up and more team members to find for the clinic.  There are more books to write, more articles to publish, more places to speak. But right now, my husband and I are living in the middle of what we dreamed of on our first date more than forty years ago.

“I want to be a country doctor,” he told me. And I swooned. “I want to take care of kids when they are toddlers, watch them grow up, and then take care of their kids after they are born.” I signed up.

“And,” he said, “It won’t be about money. I don’t care if I ever make any money. I just want to help people.” I should have gotten a clause on that one…

But here we are, bringing family medicine to rural Missouri. Living in an intentional community with people we love. Writing stuff that people actually read. Going home at night to snuggle on our love seat, drink tea, and eat ginger snaps while we talk about our kids and grandkids. (Whom we don’t see nearly enough. A part of the dream that isn’t working yet.)

So, Ben’s book is helping me in ways he might not have imagined. It is bringing my dream into better focus. Showing me places I need to make adjustments, have more faith, take more steps. And it is convincing me once again that this dream I signed on for when I was a starry-eyed seventeen year old is still worth fighting for.