We hired a new staff member recently. We snatched her up, actually, the second we heard she was available, because she is a gem! We scooted things over to make room for her at the front desk, and together she and our current staff members started whipping the place into new shape.
One morning, I told her I was going out to get get the mail. Just a short walk across the drive. And she said, “Could I do that for you?”
“Why, yes,” I said, a bit astonished, “of course, you could.”
The other staff members just smiled.
Later she said, “And do we sort the mail for you here at the front desk?”
“Oh, no,” I said. “I always sort the mail.”
Then I trundled off to my back corner to sort mail and tackle my over-crowded to-do list. You can see where this is going, right? It took me almost 24-hours to catch on. The breakthrough finally came while I was reading an email about our granddaughter, Claire. She is in a new school this year and is being her usual “I-don’t-need-any-help” self. I don’t know where she gets that.
One of the teachers who sits at Claire’s lunch table had asked what help she would need at lunch. The teacher knew Claire’s left hand refuses to cooperate with her brain most of the time. But Claire assured the teacher she needed no help. So the teacher decided to wait and see what happened.
Sure enough, the next day at lunch, one of Claire’s little friends opened her own carton of milk and then reached over and opened Claire’s. No conversation. No big deal. Just one friend helping another.
I cried a little over that. Over such a kind soul in a new school. And over Claire not wanting to ask for help. Then, I heard my own silly response about the mail. Good grief! Why am I still sorting the mail when I have novels to write and software systems to research?
I turned over the mail the next morning, and I repented for being a control-freak. I realized my unwillingness to ask for help was more of a weakness than a strength, and I vowed to overcome it. All the staff members smiled. I felt my fists unclench a bit, and I heard things falling into place as people began to pick up the tasks they are uniquely designed to do. Far beyond the mail, of course.
I wonder what I might actually accomplish now that I’ve decided to stop sorting the mail.
Yay for “finding” time in your day!
Oh, Claire. She is one life lesson for us after another it seems like. I’m so glad you’ve stopped sorting the mail.
I was at a conference last year where I heard Arianna Huffington speak. I can’t remember who she was quoting, but she said an earmark of a good leader who manages their time well is to, “do what only you can do and delegate the rest.” I think of that often when I realize I am holding on to things just because I like the way I do them best. I really like your article. It can be hard to let things go, but when I’m the one letting go, I realize I’m putting my resources (time, energy, etc.) where they matter most. When others are letting things go that I can take over for them, it’s creating an opportunity for me to grow and take on more responsibility. Win-win!
Such lovely comments, ladies! I shall refer back to them when I’m tempted to clutch the details that don’t belong to me once again.
Yes! It sounds as if your new person might be excellent at organizing and sorting. Give her a chance to shine!