I watched a talk show the other evening because I was tired of politics on the news, but I didn’t want to eat supper alone. I hadn’t seen Oprah or Rosie for several years, so I thought I’d check out their shows. My viewing choice probably explains the two cookies and a cinnamon roll I ate even though tomorrow is my weigh-in day!
As I listened to the chatter, I felt this thing rising up inside me. At first I thought it was the cinnamon roll. But, no, it was something more sinister than that. It was jealousy. I looked at those women and their various guests and I was jealous. Not of their clothes or their hair or the ungodly amount of dollars they were earning by the minute. I was jealous of their platform.
I wondered how many millions of other people were wrapped in a blanket on the couch eating too many sweets while taking part in this virtual conversation to nowhere. And I wondered why I was the one on the sofa instead of the stage.
At one time, my writing career seemed to be taking me that way. I actually turned down an offer to appear on a national television talk show back in the ’90’s. I’m still glad about that. It was the mercy of God that held me back. Because I didn’t have anything to say. Nothing helpful or real or tested. I’d have done much more damage than good.
I’m a little more seasoned now. And my brief flare of jealousy made me wonder: If I had a platform today, what would I use it to say?
Maybe I better figure that out.
And then maybe I should just keep standing on the little two-by-four of my life and start saying it.
This is GOOD. If we don’t say on our two-by-fours what we wish we could say to the masses, we won’t be real when the masses are listening. And I know you won’t say on here, but what show?? What did they want you to talk about?? : )
Thanks, Ruth. Well-put! And, you know me, I’ll say anything 🙂 It was the PTL Show (you’re probably too young to remember Jim and Tammy Faye Baker.)It was shortly after they had a national scandal and their show was being repackaged. They wanted me to appear as an expert on depression. I’d written an article in Christian Herald about how God helped me with that. They called me at work, and I was sitting under my desk with the phone by the time we were done talking because I was so overwhelmed.
Well, I had a few thoughts reading this, and the first was that I wish I had OWN. I’ve been wanting to watch those shows. I don’t get why some people get a platform in life and others don’t. I don’t get why some books are published, why some really great actors never get as famous as others. You call it the mercy of God. I call it something more like luck and the weirdness of life. For instance, I used to think – and would still be tempted to think – that the jealousy we feel in moments like that is actually the recognition of our own calling in some way. Now I’m beginning to think it’s mostly just the allure of fame that almost everyone feels occasionally. Lately this vaguely jealous, mostly wondering feeling just makes me want to work hard though – mostly because I figure that’s how you get the character to have something to say in case the hard work ever gets you a platform.
Excellent point about the hard work, Serenity. That is the key, of course. Even the mercy of God isn’t going to drop a platform in my living room while I’m crashing on the sofa 🙂
Whoa! No, I do remember them. I don’t remember WATCHING (yes, too young for that), but I remember my parents talking about it. That’s crazy that you could have been on that show! Maybe it’s a foreshadowing event for your life, though. : ) You know, saying no to the wrong offer at the wrong time and later say yes to the right offer at the right time and watch the magic happen!
I love this post. I listen to Moody Radio most of the day at work. I’ve listened to countless interviews from mostly ordinary people with a story to tell. Most of the stories are about the trials and brokenness they faced at some point in their lives and then the process God took them through to make something beautiful and glorifying out of it. I have often thought to myself “The world needs to hear Kathy’s story.” Even though I think your platform is a lot bigger than you think, I hope God gives you an even bigger platform in the years to come!
Thank you, sweet Leslie. And how prophetic of you to send me this comment today when I’m at a writer’s conference learning how to tell my story! I’ll take it as a sign 🙂
That’s it. I’m praying!